your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
