he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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