Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
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Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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