would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
