i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
