At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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