Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
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he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
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wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize