My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
