Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
