I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
