you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
