Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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