Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
