puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
