i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
