im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
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