..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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