Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
that's an acceptable place to lick
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
