i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
