that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
