FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
