One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
