yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
