You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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