Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think people are normalizing furries
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize