my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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