i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
