Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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