Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We have started to decorate penises.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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