so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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