I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize