smell my finger.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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