He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
