I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
