Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
