you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
