I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
love makes seman taste better
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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