My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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