These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
