I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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