Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
