Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
