Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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