I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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