I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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