i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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