I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I could make wine with my vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize