ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize