Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
