im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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