i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My bed smells like the plague
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
