you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
