and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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