whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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