If that was your dad, he is hot
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
