"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
