where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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