i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
