The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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