Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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