one might say we're banned from that church
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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