Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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