Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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