I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Randomize
