Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize