As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
