Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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