At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
