i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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