she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
