i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
