I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
